How to Build Confidence at Work (from a Women’s Confidence Coach)

Learning how to build your confidence at work can be a long whirlwind of a journey. But I can promise you, it’s 100% worth it. LIFE IS TOO SHORT💅 not to believe in yourself, your capabilities, and how much everyone else LOVES having you around. So let’s get to it.

Are you suffering a loss of confidence at work? Sometimes it’s hard for us to get to the root of the problem, so let’s figure it out. Do you feel:

• Frustrated
• Stressed
• Unmotivated

I’m a confidence coach, HR consultant, career coach for women, speaker, and mentor (what the hell would I know!?).

Here are 7 tips for how to build confidence at work

 

A quick run-down

Your confidence at home is one thing, a thing that can seem very personal to us. It’s our inner thoughts, feelings, and perceptions of ourselves. How does low confidence in our performance though, affect not only our work life, but our home life too? And how is it a different experience as a woman?

Navigating the professional world as a woman often comes with its own set of unique challenges (yeah, we KNOW). From breaking through glass ceilings to combating imposter syndrome, building and maintaining confidence as a woman at work can be a crucial tool for success.

If you’re ready to step into your power (💪!) and own your career journey, you’re in the right place. In this blog, we’ll uncover seven actionable tips to help you build confidence in the workplace (from an actual Career & Confidence Coach for Women). Whether you’re aiming for that promotion, leading a team, or simply looking to elevate your professional presence, these tips are designed to empower you every step of the way.

Let’s dive in and unlock your full potential!

 

Why does our work confidence drop?

Well, first we have to figure out: is it you, or your job?

You:  •Failure or setbacks Ah, the joys of facing failure! Nothing quite like it to make you question every life choice you’ve ever made, right? 🙃 •Comparisons with peers The game of “Who’s Winning at Life?” It’s like a never-ending race where everyone else is ahead while you’re stuck tying your shoelaces. 🏃‍♂️ •Personal issues Personal challenges such as health concerns or relationship difficulties can spill over into the workplace, impacting confidence and focus on professional responsibilities. Looking for help at the root will create noticeable changes at work. •Perfectionism Ah, the relentless pursuit of perfection – you’ll never get it (because you’re a human), but you’ll exhaust yourself trying. •Burnout Stress and exhaustion from overwork can lead to a loss of confidence in your capacity to manage your workload effectively. It’s like trying to drive a car with no fuel – you’re not going anywhere fast

Your job: •Lack of recognition For loss of confidence at work, this is a big contributor. It feels a bit like doing a one-person show, but the audience is asleep💤. Lack of recognition can really make you wonder if your talents are just a figment of your imagination. 🎭 •Micromanagement Who doesn’t love having a shadow looming over their shoulder every minute of the day?🥰 It’s a projection of a manager’s own failures, but SCREAMS “I don’t trust you!” •Lack of skills or training Feeling like a fish out of water in a sea of tasks you have no clue how to tackle? Remember: it is your employer’s fault if they’ve thrown you into new work they haven’t trained you for. •Uncertainty or change The thrill of not knowing whether your job will still exist tomorrow – it’s like playing a game of career roulette, which throws you straight into stress, anxiety, and…BURNOUT. •Toxic work environment A toxic workplace culture characterised by negativity, conflict, or harassment can erode self-esteem and confidence in one’s professional abilities and the organisation as a whole.

 

Is it because I’m a woman?

Well, how much time do we have? This is a hard one to digest. As women, we already start the race 6 yards back from the men. According to a LinkedIn study, women in the UK are 27% less likely than men to have a strong and large network. What does that mean for us? Well, while we’re already battling with the gender pay gap, sexism in the workplace, harassment, and lack of opportunities, we don’t have a strong network to support us throughout our working lives.

Women are expected to compete in the workplace. So we fight very hard against that trope. But we can’t really ever do anything right can we ladies? If we’re too “chummy” with our women colleagues, we’re biased (as if we’re going to the bathroom stall holding hands), and if we disagree with another woman, it’s because women “just can’t get along”. We’re constantly battling with things that men never have to think about:

1. Well, if I wear makeup, people will think I’m over-sexualising myself at work
2. If I don’t wear makeup, people will think I’m a slob

1. If I don’t speak now, I’ll never get a word in
2. If I speak now, all these men are going to talk over me

1. I’ll speak louder so I don’t get interrupted
2. People are going to think I’m angry

 

💭Do you have some more examples of these contradictions for me?

 

It’s not a difficult puzzle. When we’re underrepresented in positions of power, struggle to be heard, face all kinds of unwritten “rules”, and have to fight much harder for recognition, it’s no surprise that it’s hard to increase and hold on to our confidence at work.

We do need to rally together though, and build our confidence as women in the workplace. We tend to only apply for jobs when we’re 100% sure we can do it all – checking off every skill on the job description. According to Forbes’ famous article “Men apply for a job when they meet only 60% of the qualifications, but women apply only if they meet 100%”. Let’s change this, ladies💅

96% of women surveyed by McKinsey said that their career is important to them and that only increases in women over 30 and women of colour. What does that say? That starting the race 6 yards back from the men doesn’t mean we drop out – it means we run that much faster.

 

How does lost confidence at work affect us?

A loss of confidence at work becomes a vicious cycle. We lose confidence, which then affects performance, which then knows our confidence, and it all spirals down. That’s why it’s really important to get a handle on it – now!

Lost confidence at work can profoundly impact us, particularly as women, influencing various aspects of our lives. When we experience a lack of confidence, it can worsen feelings of imposter syndrome, making us doubt our abilities and hesitate to pursue opportunities for advancement (AKA – no promotion 🙁).

Over time, self-doubt can hold us back in the workplace, contributing to the underrepresentation of women in leadership roles. And let’s be real, our confidence levels directly affect our ability to negotiate salaries and promotions, perpetuating the gender pay gap (and everything else we have to deal with…).

In team settings, a lack of confidence may stop us from speaking up and sharing our ideas, which can really put a damper on our contributions and slow down our career progression. Plus, the pressure to compensate for our perceived shortcomings can lead to burnout and throw off our work-life balance.

Ultimately, when we lose confidence at work, it creates significant barriers to our success and well-being, impacting our career advancement and overall fulfilment. It’s a tough cycle to break, but recognizing it is the first step to turning things around.

So, on a less depressing note – let’s fix it!

 

7 Tips to help you feel more confident at work

We’ve put together 7 tips that you can try TODAY to help you kick-start the engine and speed off down the road to gaining confidence at work.

 

1. BANK the evidence

Start collecting feedback, successes, and anything that went well in your eyes or someone else’s – don’t shy away from compliments – stick them in a desktop folder or in a jar so they can look back at it & remind yourself why you’re brilliant

• Teaches you that your negative train of thinking isn’t true
• Your bad thoughts aren’t really you – they’re just intruders
• Builds a great bond between you and your colleagues

2. LISTEN to your body

Physical confidence starts with consistency, listen to your body – your body knows before your brain what’s going on, so do a body scan and reflect on why a certain experience, person or place makes you feel less confident – only by noticing this can we work on making it better

• Feeling confident in your skin is a big help to feel confident on the inside
• A great habit to get into for life in general
• Feel more connected with yourself

3. ASK a friend

What 3 things would they say you’re confident in? Surrounding yourself with people who lift you up, make you feel good & know your good bits will help you feel confident!

• Create a support system
• Reminds you of who loves you, and why
• Reminds you that work, actually, isn’t everything

4. EXERCISE

Feeling strong can quite literally make you feel more confident & capable, find an exercise you like & do it for mental resilience & inner strength / the goalposts matter – if you’re doing it for the wrong reasons it won’t help build that inner confidence

• Releases happy chemicals in your brain
• Gives you time for yourself, to process thoughts & feelings
• Helps a lot with motivation

5. COACH it

Like a six-pack for the brain, coaching can help you unlock things getting in your way, help you build a toolkit for confidence & rely on the work later when you have a crappy day.

• Professional & neutral insight
• Mock interview & speaking practice
• Personalised feedback

6. TRAIN your brain

If your narrative is you telling yourself you’re not good at something, then by choosing positive language we can change the pathway – it’s science – use words to train your brain to positively reinforce yourself – it works!

• Good for your mental health, not just work
• Changes how you speak to others, too
• Reminds you that the glass is half full, not half empty

7. KNOWLEDGE

If knowledge gives you confidence, keep learning, reading, exploring, talking, and interacting. The more you learn the more you’ll enjoy the work at hand instead of questioning your confidence.

• Keeps your brain busy
• Takes your mind off anxieties
• Gives you a fresh perspective

 

What to do when even after all of that, you still lack confidence at work…

It’s time to try confidence coaching.

But in the meantime, try these hacks for speaking:

 

How to speak with confidence at work

Fake it til’ you make it, baby! Remember these 4 P’s:

1. Prepare

Confidence stems from knowing what you’re talking about (and not fumbling the bag when someone asks you a question). Prepare thoroughly for meetings, presentations, or discussions. Understand the subject matter and anticipate potential questions, queries, or concerns your colleagues may have.

2. Practice

Don’t expect to be a pro overnight. Practice speaking in front of a mirror or with a friend. The more you practice, the more confident you’ll become.

3. Picture

Before a big meeting, picture yourself absolutely nailing it. It’s like a mental pep talk that can boost your confidence and calm your pre-game jitters.

4. Posture

Good posture is your best friend. Stand or sit up straight, shoulders relaxed. It not only makes you look confident but also helps you breathe better, which can calm your nerves. Demand your audience’s attention, girl💅

And…

 

Take your time

They are there to listen to YOU. YOU are speaking. This is YOUR time. People who rush seem nervous – as if what they’re talking about isn’t worth even their own attention! Talk calmly and at a steady pace.

Ditch doubtful language 

Swap out wishy-washy phrases like “I think” for more assertive ones like “I believe” or “I’m confident that.” It’ll give your words more punch👊

Eye contact

Eye contact shows you’re engaged and confident – but I don’t mean stare! Maintaining a *normal* amount of eye contact with your audience is a good way of keeping everyone connected with your words.

Listen, too

It’s a two-way street! Actively listen when engaging in Q&As (eye contact, nodding, repeating what they said back to them)

Laugh at mistakes

Fumble a sentence? Make a joke out of it – it’ll keep everyone at ease. Confidence comes from knowing you can handle whatever comes your way.

Feedback!

Asking for feedback is a sign of great confidence too. Mistakes are how you grow! Trustworthy colleagues or mentors can give you pointers to help you shine even brighter.

 

To wrap up…

So, here’s the bottom line: confidence matters, especially in the workplace. When we doubt ourselves, it affects everything from our career progression to our well-being. But the good news is, we have the power to change that narrative. By acknowledging our insecurities and taking proactive steps to boost our confidence, we can break free from the limitations holding us back and step into our full potential☀️

Whether it’s seeking out coaching, practicing self-care, or simply reminding ourselves of our worth, every small action adds up to a big change. So let’s commit to building each other up, celebrating our successes, and owning our worth in the workplace. Because when women thrive, we all thrive!

Let’s have a chat!